I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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