He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
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