I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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