We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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