I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
