Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
