theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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