im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
How does one acquire holy water?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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