How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
