Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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