i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize