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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
All I want is dick and wine.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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