I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
