He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize