I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
false alarm. still invincible.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
