I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
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