last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
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I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
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WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
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