how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
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