Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
