Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
