I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
