just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
