Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
