It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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