Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Randomize
