Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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