Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Randomize
