I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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