Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
