But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
