Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
