I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
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