I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
