OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize