This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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