I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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