Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
