I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
