Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
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