Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize