All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
