Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I need to calm my uterus...
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
