my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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