Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Randomize
