This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
