Hey man sorry I got all grabby
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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