is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
