just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
