she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
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