i permit you to call me
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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