the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize