She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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