Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
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I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
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I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
we're so committed to being not committed
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