You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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