I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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