my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
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i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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