Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
