babies were throwing up all over the place
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
