Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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