Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
