Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
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He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
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I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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