Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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