Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
